Seeing The Pattern, Gaining Insight

Family betrayal has been a theme in my life.

I know there is not one singular reason for this; rather, it is an intricate lattice of factors. Still, one betrayal in particular was shocking in terms of how it unfolded, catching me unawares. For a while I thought it was all about my relative’s partner, who has made significant threats for years, until I realized this was just one piece of the puzzle.

Last week I launched my new website.

I prepared for it as I usually do, asking my guidance for support, meditating on how to show up more fully for my clients, reviewing what to include, and setting my intention for my website to serve as a gateway to deeper insight for all who visit, whether or not they are clients.

Then I published it.

Almost immediately, I received a clear intuitive ‘hit’ about the pattern of this specific betrayal and the message this experience has for me. In retrospect, I also recognized the signs that had been present along the way.

At first I thought it odd that I’d get this level of clarity right after publishing my new website, when I was totally focused on that, not thinking about the relationship or anything else.

Then it occurred to me that that was the perfect time.

For one thing, I was not trying to understand it, so I was more open to hearing the whispers. Secondly, my intention was for all who visit my website to gain greater clarity on issues of import in their lives, and I was ‘visiting’ my website, albeit as the author. Thirdly, I had let go of the need to understand. This combination was the perfect setting for me to realize more.

Sometimes, shifts are needed in one or more aspect of our lives before healing arrives in the areas we want. Other times, issues are still evolving. At times, we are not ready to receive the messages a situation has for us. And on occasion, we aren’t ready to connect the dots, and recognize the signs we’ve passed along the way. Finally, like with healing, there is Mystery involved in what we learn, how we learn it and when.

Photo by Joshua Harris